You know what really sucks? Knowing that you’re going to live the rest of your life never seeing your father again. Realizing he didn’t live long enough to even enjoy your first legal drink together. He’ll never see me graduate college, or become a teacher. He’ll never be there to walk me down the aisle at my wedding. He won’t even get to hold his future grand children.

There is no positives to death. I don’t believe that “God just gained another angel”. Or that “We loved him a lot but god loved him more.” I want to believe that because it makes the coping process that much easier. But none of that ever made any sense to me. However, a controversial discussion about my beliefs is not what this is about.

I somehow have to go on with my life. I have to learn to live without my dad. The man who put humor into every situation. The man who taught me how to change the oil in my car and how to catch a fish. He taught me how to swim and how to wrap christmas presents. The very man who came to rescue me every time I locked my keys in my car! Oh and he would laugh if he was here. God I miss my dad. “My dear old dad.” (As he would say)

I learned a lot from you, dad. The man who helped bring me into this world. I learned how to be independent, strong willed, and have a great work ethic. I learned “the early bird gets the worm” and to never be late to any occasion. I got my big brown eyes which didn’t mean much until I came to recognize where they came from. I was lucky to have someone like you in my life. I’m just so heartbroken that you will be missing out on my future. I hope you’re somewhere out there. Looking over us. I want to believe that you’re in heaven. I want to believe that i’ll see you again one day. I just can’t see the practicality of it, so I’m trying to be realistic. You would want that from me. It’s been one whole year and 7 days since I last saw you breathing. Now I just have your memories. You’ll live on in me forever…


The trouble is, you think you have time. -Buddha

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